Does Anyone Want To Be Here?
By Dr. Michael J. Zappa, FACEP
What are you doing right now? Does it have your full attention? Is it what you want to be doing? Do you want to be here? Where? Anywhere!
In our fast-paced, high stress environment, too often our focus is on what’s next, as opposed to what’s now. Although planning for the future is an important leadership trait, it creates the risk of being disconnected from the present – even taking the joy out of living.
Scholars and comedians alike have tried to get us to pause and enjoy the present. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld entertained a recent audience with these thoughts: “You imagined a special night out, worried about getting tickets, then stressed about getting to the show, where and when you would eat, rushing through a meal to get to the show, finally at the show and you begin thinking about getting home, then stressing about the drive home, and when you finally get home are thinking about when you will get to go out again.” Strange creatures we are: at work we want to go home, at home we want to go out, when we are out we dream of the comforts of home. It raises the question: Does anyone want to be anywhere?
Harvard scholar and author Shawn Achor has gathered data showing a similar mindset in people pursuing happiness: it seems to never be in the present but only in the future. People who are not happy say the will be happy when they get into a great school, then it’s when they graduate, followed by when they land a great job, next it’s when they get that raise, but then its when they get a new house, etc, etc, etc. Achor says that too often as a culture we “push happiness over the cognitive horizon,” a place we can never arrive. His studies have found that most individuals live by the following formula: success first, then happiness.[1] Yet if we look around, we see plenty of people who have accomplished a goal (or goals) who are not happy. Why? Probably because they are already focused on the next goal; they are missing out on the here and now. Research in the genre of positive psychology has proven that the formula is not only wrong, but backwards. Happiness is actually the precursor to success; combine it with optimism and you are fueled for performance and achievement. Therefore, the formula should be: happiness first, then success.
So how can you prevent yourself from succumbing to the syndrome of not wanting to be anywhere? Just remember your A, B, Cs:
Aware
Be Present
Celebrate
Step one is awareness; recognize your tendency to be overly focused on what’s yet to come. Practice being present: find the joy and happiness in the moment - slow down, life is not meant to be lived as a race. Remember the gift of the simple things, the foundations of all successes small and great. Finally, celebrate each success along the way, whether it’s a party, a night out, a day off, a hearty laugh, or simply a smile.
If you want to lead yourself to a better life, or a whole team to success, show them you’re happy to be here, wherever here is!
_____________
[1] Achor, Shawn. The Happiness Advantage. NY: Crown Business 2010.